Trifecta

Condensing these three posts into one makes my blog look like shit. I'm drunk off of Mad Men and Belvedere, I've had six hours of sleep for the last week, and there is no point in the future in which it seems I will have time to sleep.

Hello, World

Perusing my kindle before going to sleep, I search for "feminism," hoping to be inspired for a blog post. I am not disappointed. Amongst my old friends "Full Frontal Feminism" by Jessica Valenti and "Feminism is for Everybody" by bell hooks and "How to Be A Woman" by Caitlin Moran are little slime pockets of trash with titles like "The War on Men" by Suzanne Venker, "Women First, Men Last: Feminism's War on Men and Its Devastating Effects" by Steven Adams, and "Feminism: The Ugly Truth" by Mike Buchanan. That last one is my favorite, mostly because the cover is of a deranged looking woman baring sharp teeth. I browse a few of these, looking at excerpts and descriptions. I'm delighted to learn a few fun new facts, such as:

Feminism has made women unhappy.

Feminists are deluded and ugly and stupid.

Feminists are taking away men's rights.

If you even remotely agree with any of those statements, you are a fucking idiot and I never want to hear you speak to or around me. The idea of a family unit led by a strong man and a docile woman is a fucking joke; a myth perpetuated by the privileged and deluded. The idea that men are having rights taken away by feminism is ludacris (WHAT THE HELL LIZ), because being incredibly over privileged and allowed another group to enjoy things which you've always enjoyed is not losing a right. Here's a cartoon of what you look like when you argue with me:

(Credit to Scott Benson)

One of the jokes a Jewish uncle of mine tells is that whenever he feels bad about being Jewish he looks at the anti-Semitic media. According to them, Jews run the banks, the news, the schools, etc. This is a bit how I feel looking at these anti-Feminism books. One thing they can all agree on is that feminism has gone too far, and in a strange sense that comforts me. Someone is threatened by feminism. Good. I want people to feel threatened.

In this blog we will discuss many forms of feminism and the ways in which feminism is present in our everyday lives, as well as shedding light on kinds of feminism you may not be familiar with. We'll discuss queer theory (an issue frequently overlooked in feminist discourses, even though bisexual and lesbian women experience much higher rates of sexual assault than straight women), harassment, capitalism, marxism, rape culture, international feminism, racism, womanism, trans issues, and a whole slew of topics. Many of these posts will relate to current events. But at no point will we entertain the notion that feminism is somehow not necessary.

Being a feminist is not easy, and frequently I am challenged in my views. My responses to those who question feminism vary based on my relation to the person and the level of respect that they show me when speaking. I'll explain the three ones now so we never have to have this conversation again.

The high road: Feminism is necessary in this patriarchal world because the state of affairs is such that an active enhancement of women's rights is the only way to come close to equality, which has many different faces and needs

The middle road: I believe in the rights of all women to be treated as people, and practice that in my everyday life

The low road: I don't give a fuck what you think.

Profile a Blog

You ever stop and consider the meaning behind the clothes the characters in a film or TV show are wearing? Most of the time you don’t notice what a character is wearing because a good costume designer supplies the audience with subtle characterization clues without distracting from the action on screen. Gavia Baker-Whitelaw, who goes by the pseudonym "Hello, Tailor," is a blogger from Scotland who writes reviews of popular television shows, superhero movies, and fashion shows. BORING Her posts focus on the costuming of the characters and the effects that costuming has on the overall media content. As a feminist, she frequently writes reviews which include in-depth analysis regarding the female representation in these shows.

"Hello, Tailor" garners approximately 1,000 hits per month. Due to the success of her blog, she has gained freelance work as a writer, mostly for the Daily Dot. She is heavily involved in the online fan fiction community, and is a managing editor at Big Bang Press, a small publishing company that focuses on fandom writers.

Hello, Tailor updates about once every two weeks, usually commenting on recently released movies. Her recent posts have been a three-part review of "Captain America: The Winter Soldier," and she has a long history of posting about Marvel movies. She has also shown herself to be dedicated to NBC's "Hannibal" and MTV's "Teen Wolf."

Her strongest posts are those that combine fashion with feminism, such as her popular post about the H&M fashion tie-in with the American version of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. In this critique, she demonstrates an understanding of the ways in which marketing tie-ins with popular movies can undermine the intentions of the original characterization.

"Salander... dresses with explicit aim of coming across as scary and unappealing. She isn't part of any goth subculture, and she has no difficulty attracting a partner when she wants to get laid and therefore does not dress with the aim of being sexually appealing... As a physically small woman who is justifiably wary of abuse and attack, she goes out of her way give off as many negative signals as possible. The way Rooney Mara has been styled, however, doesn't quite match this. Firstly, her hairstyle looks expensive and trendy instead of home-cut and messy, and secondly, if ever there was a role for which an actress should "ugly up", Lisbeth Salander is it."

Baker-Whitelaw is a feminist, pointing out the ways in which women are treated as objects for visual pleasure in ways which don't agree with the character. Her main critique of the marketing for "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" is that it turns Lisbeth Salander into a submissive, sexualized figure in order to appeal to an American audience. We, as movie-goers, are so used to this objectification of women that we rarely even notice it. When Baker-Whitelaw points it out, she does so as a feminist and as a media critic. Portraying Lisbeth Salander in this manner isn't just offensive to women, it's also offensive to accurate storytelling.

I began following "Hello, Tailor" almost two years ago, initially attracted by her compelling and conversational tone that she uses in her "Teen Wolf" recaps. These posts were far more casual than her posts about the Avengers, as she sounded much more like a fangirl discussing her obsession with an MTV show than a woman critiquing a multi-million dollar movie. These posts generally began as thought-out-but-still-initial reactions to the episode before devolving into bullet points using internet-speak. For example, her review of season three episode six ends in this manner:

• Luv the music in the final scene. SCOTT/STILES FRONDSHIP!!!!
• I feel like I say this every week (who am I kidding, I definitely say this every week), but SCISAAC/ALLISON THREESOME NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
• How many thunderstorms does Becaon Hills have each year? 200?

Baker-Whitelaw uses her critiques of media to bring about feminist understanding. Her audience is mainly women who are interested in this media, and these women are then more informed about feminism because of her posts. Furthermore, her conversational tone is admirable. The way in which she transitions between formal critique and carefree text-speak is something which I wish to emulate in my own way. My blog has more to do with theories of feminism, but it also deals with the everyday sexism that I face, and media of course plays into that.

Voice Post

I've been admiring Coke Talk since back in 2010. First she had her personal blog, which was a delightful shitshow following the world of the brilliant Los Angeles party girl who was "staggering through life with an eager nose and a sharp tongue." Quickly thereafter, readers started submitting questions to the wise Coke Talk, and she premiered her advice blog, "Dear Coquette." The tagline for this reads "shady advice from a raging bitch who has not business answering any of these questions." In 2011 she ran a style blog, the sidebar explaining "a decadent orgy of materialistic delight in the pursuit of fashionable fuckery." She's designed purses and jewelry, and she's written the tongue-in-cheek book "Notes to My Future Husband: A Bitch's Guide to Our Happily Ever After."

Coke Talk is a direct woman. She's smart, educated, and painfully aware of the fleeting human condition. She posts something almost every day, whether it be on her personal blog or her advice blog, and she really, really doesn’t give a fuck what you think about her (an attitude I have been trying for years to master). Several of her posts are named "On Fun-Sized Advice" and they contain quick bites of reality to the masses who write to her. A few examples

Why is it that I can look at a hot guy, want to make out with him, and know it would mean nothing, but it makes me feel sick to my stomach if I think about my boyfriend doing it?

Because you are culturally conditioned to experience sexual jealousy.

Why do you say it’s important to have multiple relationships and/or sexual experiences/encounters?

Because one day you’ll be dead.

I am really hung up on the fact that everyone I love will die. Just the thought of losing people hurts so much I cry sometimes. How do I cope with this fear?

Quit whining and enjoy the people in your life.

Why do I feel the need for constant male attention?

It’s how you validate your sense of self-worth.

I really want to get my nose pierced, but all the naysayers always ask WHY. The truth is, I’m just a 19-year-old who thinks it looks cool with a bit of cash to burn. Do I need a good reason if I want it?

I’m not your mom. Stick whatever the hell you want into your stupid face.

Why are all philosophy professors such douchebags?

Because they spend their lives dealing with philosophy students.

If a guy routinely screws me from behind, does he not respect me?

Only if it’s a metaphor. Also, you’re an idiot.

How can i crush a man’s ego, rip it to shreds?

Be better than him without needing him.

How to get your dignity back?

Fucking take it.

Will my girlfriend and I last?

Nothing lasts.

These posts provide small insights into the mantra of Coke Talk without requiring her going into detail. You want a facial piercing? She doesn’t fucking care. Are you have a life crisis? You’ll be dead soon, bitch. Someone else makes you feels like shit? Don’t stand for that. Destroy them.

Her voice is mature, confident, and direct. Through these simple sentence fragments she conveys a conversational tone, almost as though she were sitting at an interview in which questions are being thrown at her and she has neither the time nor the patience to flesh out her answer. She's right. You're wrong.

The voice which Coke Talk uses depends heavily on your approach to her. If you are respectful and coherent in your writing she will answer your question in an understanding tone. If you ask a stupid question, she will be mean. Best of all, she doesn't care what you think of her.

At other times Coke Talk provides longer answers to her questioners. The following are from a post titled "On How You Look At It" in which she answers three different - but related - questions.

Do you think we’re a benefit to the Earth? Or unhealthy for it?

You would be wise to do two things:

First, don’t flatter yourself. We are of no consequence, and the Earth is indifferent. On a geological time scale, our measurable effect on the planet is a greasy burp.

Second, don’t separate yourself. It’s ridiculous to pretend that the concept of the collective “we” is somehow detached from the concept of the earth. There is no difference between the two.

What you’re really asking is whether our species in its current state of evolution is a benefit to the broader concept of life, and the only legitimate answer to a question like that is a Zen-like shrug of the shoulders.

Maybe we are. Maybe we aren’t. We’ll see.

Do you think a quarter-life crisis is an actual thing? I’m 20 years old and I feel like my life is over.

Your life isn’t over. Your childhood is over, and you just don’t know the difference yet.

As for whether a quarter-life crisis is an actual thing, sure it is. You can have an existential crisis at any age, and it’s perfectly reasonable to freak out in your early twenties when you suddenly realize that life is one big grind.

That’s no excuse to wallow in it, though. You’ve only got a few years in your early twenties when it’s culturally acceptable to screw around trying to find yourself. Don’t waste them being filled with angst and ennui.

As an average American, what do you think about the middle class?

The middle class is a cultural cliché without an internally consistent definition. It’s just an idiomatic device used by politicians and those in the media who want to represent the broadest area under the socio-economic bell curve. When reporters use it, they mean “not the rich and not the poor.” When candidates use it, they mean “you and everyone you know.”

The subtle counterpoint is calling me an “average American.” That phrase doesn’t draw attention to class distinctions, and it also has nationalistic connotations, which is why you’ll find more Democrats using the phrase “the middle class” and more Republicans using the phrase “average Americans.”

And of course, that’s really what you’re doing with this carefully loaded cocktail-party question. You’re just trying to suss out my political leanings.

She uses a specific technique when analyzing these questions. She lays the information out clearly in different sections, starting with more heightened language and ending the answer with a short punch of a sentence. As a bonus to elucidate her spectacular writing ability, she has previously discussed her disdain for emoticons.

Even though these posts are longer, they’re not so different from the other ones. She’s being asked essentially the same questions, which points to the universality of the human experience. People are frantic about change and self-centered as to the belief of their effect on the world. Others are focused on the details in their lives, trapped in a language rife with meaning they didn’t notice existed until Coke Talk called them out on it. Everyone is freaking out. No one knows anything.

Coke Talk has the answers, but she can only give you the tools to better yourself. She cannot fix you, and while she has these tools she doesn’t know everything, not really. I’ve seen her freak out on her personal blog. She is so human and so raw to me that it hurts to read her.

Sometimes you walk into a room and the color of the wall stands out to you and all of a sudden you are hyper-aware of your existence and your head starts to spin and your stomach starts to hurt but then your friend comes up to you and gives you a hug and you focus everything you have on that hug. That hug is the most important thing in the world and that affection is the purpose of everything previously to happen on this Earth.

That’s what reading Coke Talk feels like to me. Like a friend showed up to give me a bit of love and a bit of perspective right when I was about to panic.

Coke Talk is, quite obviously, my hero. (Bonus! One of those questions was mine!) Her grammar is impeccable, she's well-read, and most importantly she's complex. Each time that she posts she expresses her mood through her writing, meaning that the Coke Talk you get one day is different than the Coke Talk to read on another. Nonetheless, her writing is always clear and distinct. Coke Talk's writing is the kind of writing to which I aspire. Coke Talk as a person is the kind of person I aspire to be.